Parallel Bars
by Elriel Xillow-Onasi
Summary: It's a long way from the Unknown Regions.  For LSF Revan and her crew, the Ebon Hawk is starting to feel a bit small...
1. Chapter 1  If You Prick a Mandalorian

Chapter 1: If You Prick a Mandalorian…..

"Hey Candy", Elriel breezed into the Ebon Hawk's garage. Canderous looked up murderously from the workbench.

"If you call me that again, Revan," he languidly drawled out the emphasis on her former name. Elriel winced and held up a placating hand. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry Mr Canderous, sir", she said, grinning. "I should think so, Miss Elriel, ma'am," he returned. "And to finish my sentence, if you call me that again I'll take you over my knee."

Elriel giggled before the memory shot a lance of pain through her. "Carth threatened to do that once," she told the gruff Mandalorian with a wistful smile. Canderous snorted, rolling his eyes. "Follow through on the threat, did he?"

"Hardly!" Elriel cried in mock horror. "We were in Ajunta Pall's tomb at the time!"

Canderous raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't have stopped me. Always knew Republic was all talk."

"Let me tell you, Mandalorian, that he had plenty action when it came to –"

Canderous interrupted hurriedly "Please, spare me the details, El. You can relive them as many times as you like in the privacy of your own quarters."

Elriel's blush felt like it had reached the roots of her hair. "Ah, yeah…uh sorry," she stammered. "I miss him is all."

"I know. But we're on our way home now. You'll see him in a couple of months."

"Four months, seven hours and…" Elriel checked her digisec, "seventeen minutes. Give or take."

Canderous rolled his eyes. "Right. Anyway, look, did you come in here for a reason or just to distract me from my upgrades by mooning over Onasi and his penchant for sexual sadism?"

Elriel couldn't help but roar with laughter at the Mandalorian's brusque terminology. "Actually," she said, calming her giggles, "I came to ask you if you'd seen Atton. I wanted to tell him that T3 has fixed the rattle in the motivator."

"Atton is where Atton always is. In the cockpit."

Elriel frowned. "What's he doing up there? We've been on auto for a week."

Canderous looked at her as if she were a lobotomized Gammorrean. "Force almighty, woman. For a Jedi, you're not half stupid sometimes. He is doing the same thing you were doing except, being a man, he doesn't impose his mooning on his unfortunate, long-suffering companions."

"Ah shit," Elriel smacked her forehead, annoyed with herself, "I'm such a bantha-head."

"You'll get no argument from me."

"Shut it, Candy-ass."

"Hoi!" Canderous brandished his hydrospanner at her menacingly. "You want this stuck where even the Force can't reach it?"

"Since things calmed down, I've just been thinking of getting home, you know? Counting the minutes, the seconds. I didn't even think about poor Atton. Bantha-head, bantha-head! I ought to go talk to him."

Canderous gave her a sardonic look. "I don't think Rand will respond particularly well to any Jedi's-gotta-do-what-a-Jedi's-gotta do crap, babe."

Elriel looked aghast and opened her mouth to protest

"Just like," Canderous carried on, pointing his hydrospanner at her, "Republic will, I have no doubt, follow through on his threat to spank you silly when we get to Telos."

There were no words.

"Shut your mouth, girl, or something might fly in there."

Elriel's mouth snapped shut audibly.

"Look," Canderous' tone was kinder, "us mere mortal men just aren't built that way, get it?"

A triumphant looked appeared on the Jedi's face. "Ah! But Atton is a Jedi."

"Ronto balls!" Canderous snorted. "He uses the Force but it doesn't make him a Jedi. Anyway, it's more difficult for him. At least you and Onasi got to spend time together before your disappearing act. And you had plenty time to…uh…consummate your relationship." He winked at the reddening Elriel.

"They didn't?"

"They didn't. That frickin' old witch you used to hang about with, it was her fault partly. Thought she knew about the whole galaxy and its mother. Turns out she didn't know half as much as she boasted she did, the old bitch."

* * *

"_Atton is, as always, the fool. But the Force watches out for ones such as him, I feel."_

_I truly hope she's right. And now I have to ask it._

"_Did he love me?"_

"_He is a fool, and that alone should answer your question," she snapped. "He has nothing to offer to one such as you – and even a fool such as Atton is not so ignorant of that fact."_

_She'd still been cryptic to the end, the evil old scow. Why didn't she just answer the question? What was all that bantha crap about Mical? She thinks I love __him__. Does Atton think that? Did Kreia tell Atton that? Is he a fool because he loves me or a fool because he doesn't? Force, I'm glad the cryptic old witch is dead._

* * *

"Traya?" Elriel shuddered at the elusive and indisctinct memory of her former Master.

"Yeah, Traya, Kreia, whatever the hell she called herself," Canderous growled. "For all her Force powers and the nuggets of so-called wisdom she liked to ram down everyone's throats, her match-making skills left a lot to be desired."

Elriel's confusion was matched only by her surprise at the Mandalorian's interest in the affair. "What in the galaxy are you talking about?"

Canderous sighed resignedly. "I wish I'd never brought it up. I'm never going to get this blaster put back together at this rate. OK, look, when we got to Malachor V the Exile went bombing off to have her big fight with Kreia alone as you bloody Jedi are so wont to do."

Elriel smiled, remembering Carth's relief warring with his terrified anger as she returned to the Star Forge docking bay following her final confrontation with Malak.

"Rand was going out of his head worrying about her and sending the rest of us out of our heads too, so I told him to go after her. Not to get involved in the fight, of course – I know enough about honour to know the Exile had to face the battle by herself."

"Canderous, you really are going soft." Elriel grinned wickedly.

"I will choose to ignore that, missy. Anyway, blah blah blah, fight to the death, good triumphs over evil again and all that Republic propaganda shit. Kreia's doing her whole bad guy death speech and all and starts giving the Exile –"

"Rezi," Elriel interrupted, chidingly.

"Stop interrupting!" Canderous roared. Elriel stifled a giggle, feeling like a small child. "She starts giving REZI all of these preditions about what the rest of us are going to get up to in the future. "

Elriel's curiosity flared and she opened her mouth to speak.

"Don't even think about asking any questions." The hydrospanner jiggled at her once more. "Right. Anyway, Atton's been skulking in the shadows, watching the whole thing, looking out for her, you know? The witch is giving it all this stuff about how Mical loves Rezi and if she's going to come looking for you and help with the whole Sith thing she can't take him with her. Like she loves him, you see? Shows how much attention she was paying, if you ask me. Anybody could see that all the sexual tension was between Rezi and Atton – well, anybody but them, I guess. Reminded me a lot of being on the Hawk with you and Onasi. Drove everyone crazy too, you pair. We all wished you'd just shut yourselves up in one of the dorms for a few hours and get it out of your systems." He chuckled at the memory.

Elriel laughed ruefully. "I did too. And you don't know everything either, Mandalorian. We had a fair few moments that were heading speedily in that direction but we kept getting mysteriously interrupted."

"Heh!" Canderous laughed, unsurprised. "Bastila, I bet. Anyway, you pesky Jedi wench, you've interrupted me again. Atton, idiot that he is, takes this as meaning she loves that pasty-faced whelp too, and this is despite the fact that Rezi promptly asks the witch if Atton loves her. Why would she ask? Force, what is it with people in love? Does all the love in your brain kick out all the sense in your brain?"

Elriel crossed her eyes and let her tongue loll out of one side of her mouth.

"Hmph. Yeah, well, the hag just gives Atton the burn about being an idiot – which was one thing she did get right I guess – and that he knew he wasn't good enough for her sorta thing."

"So?"

"So what?" Canderous snapped.

"What then?"

"What then is that we blow up the Force-forsaken planet and go home and then a few of us are sent to the farthest reaches of the galaxy to aid another stubborn Jedi woman in her fight against the forces of evil. What then is that Atton thinks she left goody-goody Jedi boy behind because she loves him – not because actually he'd be as much use against the forces of evil as Coruscant silk armour. What then is that the whole sorry state drags on ten times longer than your little affair and what then is that I lose my frickin' patience with the whole thing and bang their stupid heads together."

Elriel was utterly dumbfounded. "What did you do?"

"Got the daft pilot to tell her how he felt about her. Eventually. Just before she left. Pretty much five minutes before she left. And, of course, she loved him too – which I bloody told him – and then he was a mopey mess because he hadn't said it sooner…..and likely because he could have got some dorm action too if he had."

Elriel shook her head slowly in wonder. Canderous the Mandalorian plays matchmaker. A lot of ridiculously unlikely and downright weird things had happened to her since she woke up on the Endar Spire but she was pretty sure this one topped them all. _Carth's gonna laugh his ass off when I tell him._

The Jedi ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "Right, so he misses her and he's miserable and he feels like he wasted a load of time not telling her how he felt."

"I guess. " Canderous grunted non-commitally. "His own fault anyway. At least he listened to me in the end. I told him I had prior experience in the area and that mixed-up Jedi gals seem to have a thing for pilots with issues."

"Canderous!" her eyes widened in shock before she snorted with laughter.

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed the weirdly similar parallels".

In all truth, she hadn't. Canderous' powers of observation were certainly outmatching hers at the moment. Now that she thought about it she saw how right he was. Weirdly similar indeed.

"Force!" she exclaimed with a sigh. "I'm glad to have you around when all that love in my brain kicks out all the sense. I really should go talk to Atton."

Canderous grinned at her. "Well, if it means giving me some peace then go to it. I doubt you'll get much out of him without truth serum though."

A delighted smile broke out on the Jedi's face. "Canderous, you really are a genius!"

"Nice of you to finally admit it, though I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Truth serum. Perhaps we should crack into all that Tarisian Ale we swiped." She winked at the Mandalorian before turning to leave.

"Ah, wait," Canderous called. "If that's your method of choice, be careful just how much drunken truth you ask for."

Elriel frowned. "Eh?"

She was a lobotomized Gammorrean again. "Look, just keep your wits about you."

"I don't know what you –"

Canderous sighed dramatically. "Never mind, never mind. Go talk to the angsty flyboy."

"Huh," she smiled, a little sadly, "you could as well be talking about Carth."

The hydrospanner was jiggled for emphasis yet again. "Exactly," Canderously replied smugly, as though he had imparted some great truth. A little bemused, Elriel turned on her heel and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Forgot to say – none of these characters are mine! This is a work in progress and I have no real clue where it's going so I apologise in advance. I don't have much patience for re-writing and editing (which is why I'll never be a best-selling writer!) so if it's a bit rough around the edges, that's why. Thanks for those who have been reading and those who left the nice comments.

Chapter 2 – Under the Influence

An almighty thump from behind him brought Atton swiftly out of his reverie and he whirled the pilot's chair around. Elriel stood at the cockpit entrance, two mugs in hand and a large cask at her feet, looking a little sheepish.

"Heavy," she said, by way of an explanation for the noisy interruption. She waved the mugs at him. "Feel like a drink?"

Atton eyed her suspiciously. "What's the occasion?"

"The occasion," Elriel declared airily, "is that we have a whole shipment of Tarisian Ale we haven't touched and four months or so to kill."

The pilot grunted. "Occasion enough, I guess," he said. "Pour away."

"Yeah, well, uh, can you help me? This barrel really is heavy."

Three mugs of ale and ten Pazaak games in, Elriel's impatience could be curbed no longer.

"So. Do you want to talk about it? Rezi, I mean."

"Eurgh!" Atton groaned, slapping his free hand over his eyes. "I might have known. Even free ale comes with a price. What is it with bloody Jedi women? Always wanting to talk."

"And what is it with bloody pilots," she bit back, "always desperate to talk but pretending otherwise! You don't half remind me of frickin' Carth sometimes, you know."

The corner of Atton's mouth crooked up in a half smile. "What is it with Jedi women and their pilot fetishes," he murmered, one eyebrow raising suggestively.

Elriel scowled at him and took a long pull from her mug. "Force knows," she said, half to herself, turning her head to gaze off into the black desolation of the space beyond the cockpit. Atton studied her profile speculatively as the silence between them stretched.

"Okay," he said eventually, rising from the pilot's chair. He took Elriel's mug from her and refilled both from the ale barrel. Handing the mug back to her, he flopped back down again. "We can talk. Fine. But you first."

"Me?" She frowned.

"Yeah, you. You haven't said a word about what happened on Drumond Kass. When we found you on Kaelon you pulled that Enigmatic Jedi crap - which never fails to piss me off, I might add. So? Spill it."

_

* * *

_

The Hawk had barely touched down before Rezi was out of the co-pilot's seat and charging through to the ship's main hold, Atton hurrying after her. 

"_Right," she said, once the crew had assembled, "Atton, Canderous, let's go out and do a bit of scouting. Bring blasters – we don't know what we're going to find out there. Bao-Dur, you stay here with the droids."_

"_Objection: Master, I must urge you to reconsider. I have not blasted a meatbag in what feels like a century. You wouldn't want my assassination protocols to shut down through lack of use!"_

"_I'll call you if I need you, HK," Rezi attempted to pacify the droid. "Let's go."_

_As they started down the boarding ramp, Rezi caught Atton's arm, causing his heart to lurch unexpectedly. "There's somebody out there," she breathed. He nodded. He could feel a presence too but, for once, sensed no threat from it. Atton's breath caught in his throat and he stopped short in sheer wonderment as the intensity of positive feeling from the mysterious presence overwhelmed him. He stumbled onwards dizzily, feeling bathed in light._

'_What in the galaxy is out there," he thought, "a frickin' angel?"_

_Just beyond the foot of the ramp stood a figure Atton recognized immediately. The strikingly beautiful woman looked as though she had just stepped out of the holovid Admiral Onasi had shown him._

"_Revan," Rezi managed._

_The former Sith Lord smiled serenely. "Revan is dead," she said gently. "It is finished. But I'm glad you guys are here, there's still a bit of cleaning up to do."_

* * *

"I had to go back there," Elriel told the pilot, a shadow passing over her face. "I had to end it."

"End what?"

"What I started." Her eyes met Atton's and the pain behind them almost made him wish he hadn't brought the subject up. He glanced away quickly.

"Nobody really knew why Malak and I fell to the dark side, not for sure…not even me for a long time," Elriel laughed softly without humour at the last. "But all of that stuff – with the Star Forge and everything too – I mean, it doesn't just happen out of nowhere. We didn't just stumble on it out of dumb luck."

"There is no dumb luck, there is the Force," Atton intoned in his best pompous, stuffy Jedi voice. Elriel's eyes flashed at him angrily and he quickly mumbled an apology. _Wow she is beautiful when she's mad_ had flashed, unbidden, into his head and he shifted uncomfortably.

"We found the Sith at Drumond Kass," Elriel continued. "The real Sith, not those jumped up punks in silver armour…..the ancient Sith…and their Emperor. It was the Emperor who seduced us, who led us down the dark path…well, more me, I guess. Malak, he was just Alek then. He was in love with me, you see?"

Atton did.

Elriel shook her head sadly. "I didn't feel the same. He was my friend, nothing more," she said. "But he kept trying anyway, kept trying to find ways to impress me, to make me love him back. He fell to the dark side for love. How crazy is that?"

Atton left her rhetorical question unanswered.

"Anyway," she turned matter-of-fact, shaking off the melancholy, "it was the Sith Emperor who sent us after the Star Forge. He wanted to use us to achieve his own ambitions and, in the end, we wanted to use him to achieve ours. Of course, neither of these were achieved, thank Force."

Atton wasn't sure he followed. "But why did you have to go back there?" he asked.

"I can never take back all the suffering I caused," she turned the full force of those haunted eyes on him again, "and I can never give back the lives I took. But I had to try to prevent more from being lost in the future. While those Sith, that Emperor, remained in existence there would always be a danger. How long before another Revan and Malak happened upon them? The cycle would just have kept repeating over and over. Do you understand?"

"Yes." He did. "But how did you do it? I'm not being funny but how did you manage to kill them all?"

She smiled icily. "I had to become Revan again."

_

* * *

_

The hooded figure beckoned her forward with one claw-like finger. She dug deep inside herself, taking all the pain and rage she could muster from her soul….the shattering, searing agony from the annihilation of Taris, the deaths on Malachor V, the aching hurt of her absent love, and projected a dark red cloud of hate and malice around herself, worthy of a Dark Lord.

"_Revan," the cracked and aged voice exclaimed from beneath the cowl. "Finally you have returned."_

_Revan bowed deeply and reverently. "My Emperor," she said._

* * *

Atton looked at her questioningly, awaiting an explanation. None appeared to be forthcoming.

"And?" he prompted.

"And," she returned with a forced smile, "it is finished, as I said. I want to put it behind me finally. A small part of the reason for going back was so I could forgive myself for everything Revan had done. I believe I can do that now, to an extent. If you don't mind, I'd rather not relive the whole thing."

"Fair enough," the pilot conceded, "though there is just one small thing…"

"What?" Elriel asked warily.

"How on earth did you know we were coming to Kaelon?"

She visibly relaxed, a warm smile lighting up her face. "I felt you coming," she said brightly.

Atton snorted. "Damned bloody Jedi bloody women," he grumbled, as Elriel's delighted laughter echoed around the cockpit.

Atton rewarded Elriel's partial honesty by giving her something of a potted history of his time with Rezi, carefully avoiding the territory of his feelings for her, save his appreciation of her arrival in his holding cell wearing only underwear.

"Well, that was quite an exciting…um..summary," Elriel noted, dryly. "Now, the question that you're absolutely dying to ask me is?"

Atton glared at her angrily. "If you're rooting around inside my head then you ought to know!"

"I would do no such thing!" Elriel cried in mock indignation. "I've simply regained some of the common sense our Mandalorian friend seems to think I misplaced somewhere along the way."

"Right, whatever," he sighed resignedly, taking a swig from his mug and staring off into the distance. Elriel remained silent but Atton could feel her waiting for an answer, patient but expectant. He'd get no peace, he supposed. Damnable Jedi women!

"How long?" he gave in. "How long will she be?"

"I don't know, I'm afraid," Elriel admitted. "I'm not even that sure where she's gone."

Atton looked skeptical.

"You know I couldn't tell you where, even if I knew," she said. "Sorry."

He dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"If it makes you feel any better," she said, brightening, "I very much doubt she'll be as long as I was."

"Great," he drawled, sarcastically. "Well one thing that at least does make me feel better is that that half-Jedi wimpy little kiss-ass, Mical, isn't with her."

Elriel nodded softly and the pilot noted her seeming familiarity with the situation.

"Canderous filled you in on that whole thing, I take it." It was not a question and Atton nodded at her silence. "Man, I was so close to losing it and blasting that guy's self-righteous little head off."

Elriel stared at him, a little aghast. "It doesn't sound as though any of your crew had particularly harmonious relationships," she opined, a disapproving tone to her voice.

"Why would they?" Atton responded with a sneer. "Did yours?"

"Of course," Elriel replied, surprised at his response. "As ragtag a bunch of misfits as we were, by the end we were almost like a family. I think we loved each other, each in our own way."

Atton rolled his eyes, unconvinced. "Yeah, right," he said. "More like they all loved you and hated each other. That's how we were, for the most part."

"How terrible," Elriel was equally surprised and sympathetic. "That can't have been easy. Trust me, that's not how my crew were at all. Hey, get me some more of that ale, would you, and I'll tell you about some of them."

Atton dutifully lurched up from the pilot's seat, staggering a little. Elriel sniggered quietly.

"Okay," she said, her cheerful mood returning, "let's see. You would love Mission – well, except when you were losing Pazaak games against her, of course. She was kind of like my adopted sister really. She always knew how to cheer me up. Ah! Like that time she and I played this joke on Bastila…."

* * *

"...so then," Atton giggled drunkenly, "Mira had to put on this really slutty dancer's outfit and gyrate around in front of the big slug. Man, was she ever pissed off!"

Elriel's laughter turned into choking and spluttering as the ale she had been swallowing went down the wrong way. Atton hauled himself out of the pilot's chair and weaved over to her. He thumped her on the back, the momentum causing him to stumble backwards, almost tripping over his own feet. This sent Elriel off on another round of giggles.

"We are drunk in charge of a space freighter," he declared grandly, plopping himself back down on the chair. "We should have done this in the cargo hold, you know. We might accidentally fall on the instruments and end up flying in the wrong direction."

"Nah, it'll be okay," Elriel reassured him, waving her mug. "Anyways, I like it up here. Always spent a lot of time here."

"Aaaaah," Atton winked at her, grinning. "Pilot. Fetish." He punctuated each word by thrusting his now empty mug at her.

Elriel smiled and returned his wink. "Always the besht..um..best looking member of the crew," she returned.

The pilot tried to call up one of a million cheeky come-backs there surely were to a line like that but found himself curiously speechless….and curiously flushed.

"Let's go to bed," Elriel said decisively.

_Woman, are you trying to kill me! Got to think of a witty rejoinder, got to think of a…..dammit!_

"Is that an offer?" _That's the best you can do, you gizka? _Atton got unsteadily to his feet and offered the Jedi his hand.

"Funny," she dismissed, ignoring his outstretched arm and pushing herself out of the chair. Her empty mug clattered to the floor and she bent over to pick it up. _Bad idea, _she thought, as a wave of dizziness swept over her and she stumbled forward, ploughing straight into Atton. The pilot, unprepared for the force of her weight and none too steady on his feet either, fell backwards, pulling her down on top of him.

"Owwww," he complained groggily.

"Sorry," Elriel got her hands on the floor and pushed her upper body weight off his chest, eyeing the pilot with concern. "Are you okay,"

_I'm lying on the floor with a beautiful woman on top of me. Could be worse. Shit, calm down._

"This is the best place I've been in a while," Atton leered, desperately trying to sound glib as the heat coursed through his veins and his heart-rate kicked up several gears. Unfathomably, instead of the scolding he'd expected and half fished for, she locked her eyes on his and smiled gently at him. His resolve crumbled in a micro-second.

_Poor guy, _Elriel had thought kindly, _trying so hard to act the rogue to cover the pain. So like Carth. _But as she gazed at him something in the pilot's eyes changed, intensified. _Carth, _she wondered. _That's just the look Carth got in his eye when he was about to..._

* * *

"He kissed me!" Elriel wailed.

Canderous threw back his head and roared with laughter.


	3. Chapter 3 Mistaken Identities

Chapter 3 – Mistaken Identities

Elriel stood, hands on hips, vastly sobered, excruciatingly embarrassed and dismayed in the face of the Mandalorian's mirth.

Once his composure was regained she grappled to recapture some of her own, fixing Canderous with a glare icy enough to freeze plasma.

"I'm glad you think it's so funny," she seethed.

"Excited Interruption: Master, do let me ease your distress by allowing me to bedeck the walls of our transport with the sloshy contents of the pilot's head."

"Not now, HK, thank you," came Elriel's terse response.

"Atypical Observation," the droid continued, undeterred, "I do believe that the meatbag love captive of Master back on Telos would approve of the undertaking, being the only meatbag with the requisite authorization to exchange disgusting human bodily fluids with –"

"HK, please shut up!"

"Resignation: Very well, Master. Signing off."

Canderous was grinning at her superciliously when Elriel wheeled back round to face him. She couldn't imagine why he was enjoying the predicament so thoroughly. Perhaps he planned to use it to get under Carth's skin. She'd disembowel him first.

"What?" she barked.

"I did warn you," the Mandalorian replied smugly. "Perhaps one of these days you'll listen to me for a change."

"WARNED me?" she almost screamed. "I don't remember you doing any such thing!"

"Stop getting hysterical, Jedi," Canderous said dryly, still smiling.

"I am NOT - " _There is no emotion, there is no emotion, there is no emotion, there is no emotion. _"I am not hysterical," she finished with forced equilibrium. "But I don't recall you warning me about anything."

Canderous chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I might not have spelled it out," he said, "but then I didn't think I had to. You've had experience with men before, right?"

"But…but..it's not the same…it's….he….I….there wasn't…."

"Getting all flustered again, are we?" he raised one eyebrow at her. "Must have been a good kiss."

"I. Will. Kill. You," she fumed through gritted teeth.

The Mandalorian spread his arms out, amused, welcoming the challenge. Elriel huffed loudly and leaned against the workbench. "Come on, Canderous. This really isn't funny."

"Sorry," Canderous replied with a smirk, not sounding sorry in the least. "Where is Rand now? In smoldering pieces in the cockpit? Or perhaps you shoved him out the airlock. Good thing we're on auto."

Elriel looked up guiltily. "He's still in the cockpit. He's….uh….unconscious."

Canderous couldn't keep his laughter from bubbling forth.

"Stop it!" she yelled furiously at him. "It wasn't my fault. He kissed me and I wasn't expecting it. I force pushed him - just a reflex action – but he was on the bottom - "

"Just a minute," Canderous interrupted, looking irrepressibly gleeful, "He was where? On the bottom? Meaning you were on top of him? And you're mad at him? Women!"

"No, no, no," Elriel waved her arms frantically, "it wasn't like that! I was drunk and I fell over and knocked into him. He was drunk too so he fell back and pulled me with him. Then he kissed me. I force pushed him but he was already on the floor so he…kind of…hit his head on it."

The Mandalorian's eyes widened.

"He's ok!" she added hurriedly. "I think if he hadn't been so drunk it wouldn't have knocked him out. It was only a little push."

"So you left him there?" Canderous queried, incredulous.

The Jedi cast her eyes down to the floor, looking sheepish. "I panicked," she admitted. "Anyway, he's too heavy for me to lift. Could you help me?"

Canderous groaned and tilted his head skyward. "Come on," he grumbled.

* * *

Canderous and Elriel stood side by side in the port dormitory peering down at the snoring pilot.

"Damn, he really is drunk," Canderous remarked distastefully. "How come you're so clear-headed? Did you fool him into drinking more ale than you or can you just hold your liquor better?"

"I sobered up pretty quickly given the circumstances," Elriel returned dryly.

"Well, I think we should all turn in anyway – though how much sleep I'm going to get with Rand snoring like a Hutt, I don't know."

Elriel sighed dejectedly.

"Hey, don't worry," Canderous told her with a grin, "Maybe he was so drunk he'll forget what happened."

"Ah!" Elriel exclaimed, brightening slightly. "He may indeed. And if he doesn't, I certainly will. Thanks Candy."

Before the irritated Mandalorian had a chance to retort she skipped out of the dorm.

_

* * *

_

Their bodies intertwined, he buried his face in her neck, planting hot kisses. Shivers of delirium coarsed through her and she wrapped her legs around his strong torso, pulling him deeper into her. He groaned softly, gently nipping her neck with his teeth.

_Oh Gods._

_She knotted her fingers into his lustrous brown hair as their passion became more frenzied. Her pleasure mounted until it threatened to overwhelm her and as the climax broke over them in a wave, he screamed her name._

"_Oh Carth," she breathed raggedly, "that was amazing."_

_He lifted his head from her neck and grinned at her wickedly._

"_Wrong pilot, honey," said Atton._

* * *

Elriel sat bolt upright in bed screaming.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Close Quarters

HK-47 was at the dormitory door almost immediately, blasters cocked and ready. Bao-Dur and Atton appeared moments later, their eyes quickly scanning the port dorm for any possible threat.

"Eager Question: Master, is there a stowaway meatbag you wish terminated?"

Flustered, Elriel pulled her blankets up to her chin. "No, no, it's okay," she hurriedly reassured them, "I had a bad dream is all."

The tense concern on Atton's face gave way to an expression of weary annoyance. "Geez, woman," he complained, "it's not bad enough you've given me the hangover from hell with your little ale party last night, you've got to make things worse by screaming the place down?"

"Uh…sorry," Elriel flushed guiltily, thinking of the main cause of the pilot's sore head. "Let me get dressed, guys, and I'll be through in a minute."

The three left the room, but not before Atton had given Elriel a fairly penetrating once-over which left her feeling both vulnerable and exposed. HK-47 trudged down the corridor after the men, looking almost hominally dejected.

Elriel looked sickly at the slop from the synthesizer and opted for a liquid breakfast. She took her mug of hot caffa and, taking a deep breath, went over to where Atton sat slumped over his own.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked him sunnily. "No more screaming, I promise."

"Sure," he said with a lazy grin. _So we're playing the I-can't-remember-a-thing game, are we? Fine._

"Must have been one scary dream," Atton said, once Elriel was seated. "What was it about?"

Elriel's flinch was infinitesimal, but the pilot caught it nonetheless.

"Oh I can't remember now," she replied, too casual. "Funny how that is with dreams, isn't it."

_Liar._

"Funny indeed," Atton remarked. "You know what else is funny? I had a pretty weird dream too."

"Oh yeah?" she feigned interest. Atton could sense her growing discomfort.

"Yeah," he continued, enjoying himself. "It wasn't a screamer like yours, mind you. It started out pretty well, actually. Got bad right at the end though."

"Hmm." The Jedi was transfixed on the contents of her caffa mug.

"Hey, didn't you share visions with that other Jedi chick before?" Atton stifled a laugh at the cornered look in Elriel's eyes. "Maybe we had the same dream."

"I doubt it," she returned, a little sharply. "Uh…look, I'm just going to make sure T3 doesn't need a hand with his repairs. I'll see you later."

She pushed her chair back hastily and almost ran out of the room.

"You haven't finished your caffa," Atton called mischeviously after her retreating figure.

* * *

By early afternoon, Elriel was getting fidgety. T3 had politely declined her repeated offers of assistance and it seemed as though nothing on the Ebon Hawk needed done, though she had checked and double-checked. Taking a nap had become out of the question given that the moment she lay on her bunk and closed her eyes, images from the previous night's dream flashed into her mind.

She would be damned if she was going to take another ribbing from Canderous and she wasn't ready to face Atton again so she stretched out with her senses, feeling her way around the ship for Bao-Dur's presence.

* * *

As she moved quietly along the corridor to the starboard dormitory, Elriel could hear the continuous low murmer of the Iridorian's voice. Slightly puzzled, having felt no additional presence in the dorm, she crept to the doorway and peered around the frame. Bao-Dur was lying on his bunk, alone, softly talking to himself.

"That's the first sign of madness, you know," she announced genially, revealing her presence in the doorway, "talking to yourself."

Startled not in the least by Elriel's sudden appearance, Bao-Dur sat up and smiled gently at her. "Not to myself," he said, "to my remote."

Momentarily flummoxed, the Jedi scanned the dorm. "Your remote? I thought it was back on Malachor V when - "

"He was," the Zabrak said simply.

"Did you build a new one with stealth skills?" Elriel asked him, still not understanding.

"No," Bao-Dur smiled again at her bemused expression. "I just find it relaxing to talk to him sometimes."

"Aaaah," Elriel returned his grin, on this day in particular understanding why talking to a non-existent droid could often be preferable to conversing with the passengers of the Ebon Hawk. "So what were you talking to him about this time?"

The Iridorian regarded her with some amusement. "Well," he said, "I was just telling him that there seem to be a few dramatics playing out aboard the ship at the moment and I was feeling a little out of the loop."

Elriel's smile faded and she eyed Bao-Dur warily. "Right, that's it!" she exclaimed, warningly poking a finger at him. "What is going on? Do you lot have a datapad of 101 Best Carth Onasi lines that you're passing around or something?"

Bao-Dur's expression of bewilderment gave Elriel her answer.

"You know," he said with composed mirth, "making specious allegations is the _second_ sign of madness."

"I'm in good company then," Elriel returned, relaxing. "Sorry, Bao-Dur, I'm a little tense today. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Please do," he said warmly. "Talking to an actual existing being may save my sanity, after all."

Elriel chuffed out a laugh and flopped down on the bunk opposite Bao-Dur's, stretching out and tucking her arms behind her head. They lay in companionable silence for a short period.

"You know," Elriel said, breaking the repose, "I don't really know you all that well, Bao-Dur, but I do find your company very soothing."

"Thank you."

"I have been a Jedi for longer than you," she continued, "and even I can't stay as placid without meditation. It's quite something."

The Iridorian chuckled knowingly. "It is rather ironic, you know," he told Elriel. "My mannerisms have always been the same, but inside I have not always been so calm. Many of us whose paths have crossed have been similarly in pursuit of redemption, yes?"

Intrigued, Elriel propped herself on her elbow and studied Bao-Dur, her mind running over her companions, past and present. "Yes," she replied. "For you and Rezi it was Malachor V?"

"Partly," he sighed, turning his head to face her. "Well, mostly. When the Mandalorian Wars began, many Iridonian colonies were destroyed. When the Republic began to fight back, led by…..well, anyway…I leapt at the chance to join them, but for the wrong reasons. I did not care about protecting anyone, just about getting revenge for the Iridorians who had been killed. I was so full of anger then."

Elriel nodded softly.

"After Malachor V and then the Jedi Civil War," Bao-Dur went on, "I felt I had a lot to answer for. I decided to use my skills to help others rather than design weapons, in some way to make up for the lives I had been responsible for ending. When I met up with the General again, I could see she carried the same scars I did. And as you did." He locked eyes with the Jedi and a current of understanding, beyond words, passed between them.

"I cannot begin to express my relief that the General walked the light path as she did, for if she had chosen the dark side I am sure I would have followed her down it…as those close to you would have."

Regret speared Elriel's heart once more. "Those close to me did," she almost whispered. "Before."

A more melancholy silence fell between them and Elriel meditated on the power of the Force having brought so many similarly lost souls together, almost for the purpose of a collective redemption.

Bao-Dur broke the silence this time. "I love her too, you know," he murmered. "Rezi."

The statement shocked Elriel out of her reverie and she sat up, staring wonderingly at the Iridorian.

"You do?" she queried, wide-eyed.

"How could I not?" Bao-Dur responded with a smile. "So do not be too harsh with Atton. I understand how he is feeling."

"Atton?" Elriel started guiltily. "How do you know about that? I thought you said you were out of the loop?"

Bao-Dur gave a short laugh. "I still pick things up," he said. "The Ebon Hawk is not _that_ big. I could see it coming anyway."

Elriel threw her head back and groaned. "Not you too? Apparently everyone saw it coming but me. What is it that I'm missing that you and Canderous have all figured out?"

"Canderous is very astute," Bao-Dur conceded. "He is always watching quietly in the background…and perhaps he cares more about others than he is willing to admit. It is difficult for you to see because you are too close to the situation. Speaking for myself, I can see that you and Rezi are extremely alike, almost scarily so. Sometimes it is as though you are one mind controlling two bodies, if that makes any sense."

"Really?" Elriel's surprise was tainted by an edge of something close to fear. She felt as if she were perhaps just a tiny cog in an infinite Force-constructed machine.

"Very much so," Bao-Dur nodded sagely. "So you see, Atton and I love Rezi but Rezi is not here. You _are _here and you are so similar to her in every way that there is…how can I put it…a form of transference of our feelings."

Elriel frowned. "Meaning?"

"Meaning," the Iridorian said, locking eyes with her again, "that we can't help but be in love with you too. So be kind to Atton. He does not have the restraint that others may."

Shocked beyond words, Elriel's head fell back on the pillow and she stared helplessly at the ceiling, attempting to process what Bao-Dur had told her.

_That is just so frickin' ALL I need_


	5. Chapter 5  The Hardest Word

Chapter 5 – The Hardest Word

Thoroughly lacking the necessary impetus to move, Elriel remained flat on her back on the bunk, feeling both physically and mentally drained. Bao-Dur was silent too, respecting her need for no further conversation. So many thoughts, images and questions raced through her mind that she felt a little dizzy and Elriel called upon her meditation techniques to silence them. She lay still for some time, letting the Force calm her troubled brain. This end achieved, her weary body's demands overcame her and she drifted off to sleep.

Bao-Dur stood up and crossed the room to gaze down at the sleeping Jedi. He gently brushed a lock of hair back from her forehead, his hand lingering on Elriel's face. "I hope your dreams are sweeter this time," he whispered, before turning and leaving the dorm.

* * *

Atton, gearing up for another solo game of Pazaak in the cockpit, cursed aloud as he finished flipping through his deck for the second time.

_Where the hell is my tiebreaker card?_

Hoisting himself reluctantly from the pilot's chair and briefly scanning the floor, to no avail, he made his way to the men's dormitory in search of the offending article.

Atton pulled up sharply at the starboard dormitory door when he registered the sleeping Elriel.

_What is she doing in my bed?_

He slowly moved towards her and, like Bao-Dur before him, studied Elriel's recumbent form. A rush of emotions swept through him – guilt and desire being prominent among them. Atton carefully sat on the bunk by her feet, never taking his eyes from her face.

_This is ridiculous, _he thought. _ Atton, one-time-ruthless-Jedi-killer, now a frickin' sucker for __two__ Jedi. The Force sure must have a twisted sense of humour._

Elriel shifted a little, causing the pilot to start, and murmered something unintelligible in her sleep. Atton was roundhoused again by her sheer beauty in repose, stripped away of her often animated expressions; vulnerable, feminine, soft.

_Please make it stop, _Atton squeezed his eyes shut in desperation. _I'm sorry, Rezi. I'm sorry. Please come back soon._

"Atton," Elriel breathed. Atton's eyes flew open in surprise and he hurriedly composed himself, assuming she had woken. She was still asleep. The pilot's body felt suddenly consumed by fire and he tremblingly reached out towards Elriel.

_Sith's boots! Wake up, you Jedi wench. Wake up RIGHT NOW or I am going to kiss you again and I won't be held responsible!_

Fighting down the almost indomitable urge to pounce on her, Atton quickly withdrew his hand and let out an exaggerated cough. Elriel's azure eyes were on him at once.

"Atton," she said, sitting up.

Atton summoned his best roguish grin. "Of all the beds in all the galaxy, you had to fall asleep in mine," he drawled.

"Oh. Sorry," Elriel said, rather shyly and rubbed her eyes severely with the heel of her palms. "How long have I been asleep?"

"No idea," the pilot replied truthfully. "I just came in on the hunt for an AWOL Pazaak card."

She smiled at him empathetically. "Find it?"

"I haven't looked yet," Atton said casually. "I was distracted by finding a woman in my bed. A rare occurrence of late."

Elriel's smile faded slightly and her eyes filled with an expression of sympathy and understanding.

_Don't you dare feel sorry for me, girl! I was a hair's breadth away from jumping your bones._

Atton turned his eyes away from hers and cursorily examined the room. He made to get up and conduct his search but the Jedi's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"I'm sorry I force pushed you."

He whipped his head round, gaping at Elriel in astonishment. She held his gaze steadily, her chin tilted upwards in an almost defiant manner. Finding Atton at a seeming loss for words, she continued. "It was just a reflex action. Stupid. I could have hurt you quite badly and that was irresponsible. Anyway…I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Atton said, trying to collect himself, "no real damage done. Good job I have a thick skull."

Elriel gave a soft laugh at his attempted humour.

Almost before he knew it was happening, the pilot's words came out in a rush. "I know I should return your apology with one of my own, but I can't," he said. "I'm not sorry I kissed you and I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Elriel was quite unprepared for the reaction Atton's blatant statement wrought in her, as a wholly unexpected surge of desire ripped through her body. Wracked with shame and confusion, she struggled to fight it down. _Carth, Carth, Carth, Carth, Carth, Carth, Carth. I love Carth, I love Carth, I love Carth, I love CARTH._

Atton, still shocked by his own honesty and expecting a firm rebuke, saw in Elriel's face immediately that something had shifted. Emboldened, he reached out and cradled her cheek in his hand, leaning closer towards her.

"Atton, please. We can't - "

"Not interrupting anything, am I?" came the impish, mock-innocent voice of Canderous from the doorway.

"Of course not," Elriel snapped back at him. "What is it, Canderous?"

"All crew are requested to convene in the cargo hold at their…uh…earliest convenience," the Mandalorian responded, grinning wickedly.

"What for?" asked Atton, still somewhat dazed.

"Just get your butts to the cargo hold and you'll find out." Canderous winked lecherously at the stunned pair and strode out, chuckling.

* * *

Elriel and Atton arrived in the cargo hold to find Canderous standing proudly over four chairs and a make-shift table formed from the hold's containers. Bao-Dur appeared shortly after them and the three looked quizzically at the Mandalorian.

"What's going on?" Elriel asked him.

"We are having a party," Canderous announced, sweeping his arms out grandly and indicated the stockpile of Tarisian ale with a tilt of his head.

"More ale?" Atton groaned, unconsciously rubbing his head.

"Hair of the Kath hound that bit you," Canderous reassured him.

"Canderous, really," Elriel's tone was reproving, "do you think it's the wisest plan for us all to get spaced? What if something happens? Shooting a blaster while seeing double is never a good idea."

Canderous sighed theatrically. "Come on, woman," he complained. "Have you seen how much empty space is out there? What in the galaxy is going to happen between now and morning?"

"With our luck, you never know," Elriel grumbled.

"The droids are perfectly capable of manning things for now," the Mandalorian returned. "Besides," he smiled winningly, "you can always use that Force Sobriety power if anything happens. You do it so well."

Atton and Bao-Dur looked bemused while Elriel shot Canderous a scowl.

"Come on," Canderous continued, half pleading, "We have all this ale and I, for one, am bored out of my skull, a few entertaining moments notwithstanding."

Elriel turned to Atton and Bao-Dur who both shrugged in seeming acquiescence.

"Fine," Elriel surrendered with a shake of her head, "but if we get captured by a Sith boarding party, we'll know who to blame."

"Let's get one of these casks open then," Canderous said with relish.

Author's Note: Thanks for staying with me, if you've read this far. I still have more chapters to write so keep reading! Please feel free to review this too, as it's always nice to get feedback, even if it is critical feedback. Apathy is death and all that!


	6. Chapter 6  Party Favours

Chapter 6 – Party Favours

"Hah! You lose!" Atton crowed at Bao-Dur. "Drink!"

A cask of ale into the impromptu party, Atton had roped the crew into playing the loosely Pazaak-based drinking game he had picked up on Nar Shadaa, known locally as Refugee's Ruin.

"Come on," the Iridorian protested. "That's three in a row! Are the rest of you cheating?"

Assorted outraged denials and howls of derision greeted his question.

"Drink, drink, drink!" yelled Atton, thumping his fist on the quasi-table.

Bao-Dur took a long pull from his mug and then grimaced. "I don't drink very often, you know," he told his ship-mates.

"You should!" offered Canderous, generously refilling Bao-Dur's receptacle. "It can often make life far more interesting." He sat back down, making a point of smiling devilishly at Atton and Elriel.

Ignoring him, Elriel took her turn at dealing each player two cards. "Is there a prize for the person who is still conscious at the end of this game?" she asked Atton, who smiled back at her, shaking his head.

"Prize!" bellowed Canderous, brandishing his mug and causing the atypically startled Bao-Dur beside him to flinch back in his seat. "That reminds me," the Mandalorian continued, clearing his throat. "Listen to this. Right. The lass I brought home was a prize, with a lovely big set of -"

Elriel groaned a loud interruption

"- blue eyes," Canderous emphasized smugly. "Her breasts so well kept, were what I'd expect, but her penis was quite a surprise!"

Elriel half-heartedly attempted to look outraged while Atton and Bao-Dur sniggered tipsily.

"Wait, I have one," Atton flapped his hand in the air to get everyone's attention. "Okay. There was a young tart from Naboo, who filled her…uh, you know...with glue. She said with a grin, if they pay to get in, they'll pay to get out of it too!"

This was greeted with snorts of laughter from Bao-Dur and loud guffaws from Canderous, who reached over and clumsily clanked mugs with the pilot.

"Enough, please!" Elriel beseeched loudly. "Force, it's times like these when I miss having other girls around."

"You're not the only one," Canderous muttered.

Elriel grinned sardonically at him. "Look, are we playing this stupid game or not?" she asked.

"Speaking of Ladies of the Ebon Hawk," the Mandalorian announced, continuing his foray into the non-sequitar, "Bastila and I knocked boots, you know."

"WHAT?" Elriel squealed in incredulous delight, while Atton winced and jammed a finger in his ear. "No. WAY."

"Uh-huh," Canderous asserted, cocking a wink at the confounded Jedi.

"Bastila?" mused Atton. "She's that stuck up little Jedi bitch you were telling me about. The one who fell to the dark side in a Nar Shadaa minute."

Elriel turned to him, aghast. "I don't recall using quite those terms," she hissed at Atton, lightly slapping his arm.

Canderous chuckled, unperturbed. "Why not?" he asked. "I would have."

"How chivalrous," Elriel scoffed. "Now, wait just a minute," she said, leaning forward eagerly, "just when and where did this happen? If it was on our Star Map Tour you must have been very quiet about it!"

"As if!" the Mandalorian sneered, puffing out his chest proudly. "She screamed the place down, as it happens."

Bao-Dur and Atton exchanged a quick "Yeah, right" glance across the table.

"It was after the Star Forge went boom, the night of that trumped up Heroes of the Galaxy party we were all forced to go to," Canderous explained with a half-smile. "Bastila was all weird and twitchy and distracted – probably because of the aforementioned fall to the dark side thing. Anyway, there were you and Onasi cooing and slobbering over each other like a pair of drunk teenagers – not to mention sneaking out very early for everyone-knew-what - "

A strange mixture of guilt and pleasant remembrance rippled through Elriel, though she kept her expression firmly in check. She riveted her attention on Canderous' face, determinedly avoiding Atton's gaze.

" – and everybody else was bouncing around and gibbering like spiced-up halfwits. She, on the other hand, was avoiding saying more than three words to anyone for the whole evening. I caught up with her when she was trying to make an early exit herself and invited her back to my room for some Corellian whiskey…and the pleasure of my company, of course. She took me up on both."

"Wow," Elriel breathed, agog. "I'm not being funny, Canderous, but why? You two always seemed to get on each other's nerves most of the time."

Canderous shrugged. "She needed it, and she knew the man to come to to get it done right, I guess," he boasted, archly waggling his eyebrows.

"More like: any port in a storm," Atton commented under his breath, while Elriel disguised a snort of laughter as a coughing fit.

"Sheesh," she exhaled, recovering from the faux cough, "things I never thought I'd hear."

"Hmm," agreed Canderous, fixing her with a knowing look. "So," he said, eyeing the rest of the group, "any little dirty secrets any of you want to share? It's only fair, after all."

Elriel's eyes widened in alarm. "Do not go there, Canderous," she warned the grinning Mandalorian.

"Aw relax, Jedi," he returned peevishly, "We'll stay away from the whole Revan thing and Atton's shady Sith past thing and B.D's Malachor V thing."

She glowered at him, unconvinced.

"And, of course," he added breezily, "we'll stay away from the latest onboard events."

Elriel dropped her face into her hands, half-despairingly. "I need more ale," came the muffled groan.

"Me too," said Atton, snatching both of their mugs and hopping up to refill them. He returned to his seat wearing a mischevious expression. "You know, Canderous has a point," he said, as Elriel's horrified face snapped up from her palms. "I tell you what," he turned to the Jedi, "see these cards that you dealt us? Why don't you and I turn ours over. If I have the highest total then I get to ask you a question, which you have to answer truthfully. If you have the highest total then vice versa. Okay?"

Elriel paused, anxiously racking her brain for anything specific she thought Atton may want to know, without success. _He __can't__ be going to ask me if I think he's hot, surely._

"Okay?" Atton prompted.

"Fine," she returned resignedly.

"Okay," he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Let's go. I've got…" he turned his pair of cards right side up, "…eighteen! What about you?"

With a sliver of dread, Elriel turned over her own cards.

"Twelve!" Atton hooted. "I win, I win!"

"This is so childish," Elriel complained, with a moue of distaste.

"Coming from Miss Pouty Pants over there!" Canderous bawled.

_How much ale has he __had__? _wondered Elriel, snorting laughter despite herself.

"Right," Atton said decisively, banging his mug down on the table as Elriel took an extended swig from hers. "I get to ask you a question and you have to answer honestly."

"Ergh," Elriel waved her hand frantically, swallowing her mouthful of ale. "Remember," she gasped, "there's a veto on the Revan stuff and all that."

"I remember," he replied, looking thoroughly self-satisfied.

_What __is__ he up to?_

"My question for you – which you have to answer truthfully," Atton said, staring at her intently, "is this. What did you dream about last night?"

Panic hit Elriel like a force wave and she opened her mouth to give the automatic lie. Atton beat her to it.

"The truth," he reminded her. "Don't give me any of that crap about not remembering because I knew it was a lie the first time."

_No, no, no, no, no! That sneaky little….Force help me! Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID woman!_

"Please," she begged, looking round the expectant faces, "anything but that."

"Anything?" Atton's triumphant smile turned positively Machiavellian.

_Damn, shit, *£$, ^*%$*! He's got you frickin' cornered now! Stupid, stupid bitch!_

"No…right…look," she floundered, "it was a bit personal, the dream, and then there was a bit that shocked me at the end which is why I was screaming but then..uh..I mean, if I tell you about it one of you might feel offended, but you'd have to understand the context and I didn't - "

"One of us might be offended?" Canderous interrupted. "Well, if I wasn't that interested in this dream before, I certainly am now!"

Elriel's head had returned to her hands.

"Spill it, sister," Atton insisted, poking her in the shoulder. "You agreed to the bet. Rules are rules."

"Don't be embarrassed, Elriel," Bao-Dur chimed in kindly. "We're all friends here."

Elriel peered through her fingers, looking utterly defeated. "Fine. Okay? Fine. Right," she grumbled, straightening up and taking another gulp of ale. "You want it? You've got it."

The three men leaned in, almost in tandem.

"This is so embarrassing," she huffed with a shake of her head. "Right. I dreamt that I was..um..having an intimate..er..moment with Carth - "

"Be specific!" Canderous piped up. "Do you mean he was nailing you?"

"Yes!" Elriel barked back at him. "So, during this intimacy," she continued, giving Canderous a glare, "I couldn't see his face because it was, kind of, nestled into my neck, sort of thing."

"He was on top then?" the Mandalorian interrupted again.

"Canderous, shut UP!" Elriel roared. "Yes, he was on top and his face was at my neck so I couldn't see him, okay? But I knew it was him anyway…I mean…well, you assume, right? After it was over – and don't you say anything, Mandalorian – I spoke to him…I said his name…and…" She paused, casting her eyes nervously over her thoroughly engrossed shipmates.

"…and then I saw his face. It wasn't Carth. It was…somebody else." Elriel, shamefaced, studied the floor.

"Who was it?" Canderous, unsurprisingly, verbalized what everyone was thinking.

The Jedi raised her clear, blue eyes to his. "Atton," she said simply.

Three unique silences greeted Elriel's disclosure: Atton's was stunned, Bao-Dur's glumly contemplative and the Mandalorian's smugly satisfied.

_I am so frickin' hopelessly done for now, _Atton thought, positively stupefied and battling to reign in the sheer inferno of lust that had exploded within him at Elriel's one word response. _Blown to bits by my own damn plasma mine._

The silence stretched out uncomfortably and, to Elriel, each passing second felt like an hour. _Somebody say something, please!_

Finally, it was the Iridorian who obliged. "You know," he drawled, "I slept with a female Gammorrean once."

The cargo hold reverberated with relieved and delighted laughter.

* * *

Three hours later, the party was getting decidedly messy. Bao-Dur, who had been lying semi-conscious on the floor, suddenly leapt to his feet and sprinted from the cargo hold.

"Shit, where's he gone?" slurred Atton. "Is there a Sith boarding party after all?"

"Naaaaah," Canderous sneered, drunkenly sloshing his ale around, "He's gone to the 'fresher. Can't hold their drink, those Iridorians."

"Poor Bao-Dur," Elriel sing-songed sleepily. "Maybe I should go and see if heesh …uh…he's okay."

"No, I'll go," said Canderous, hoisting himself from his chair. "Getting too old to stay up this late anyway. I'll leave you kids to it." He grinned and winked at the scowling Elriel before shambling out.

Elriel turned to Atton. "We should probably go too," she said, stifling a yawn, "it's pretty late."

The pilot stood and offered her his hand. "Can I see you home, ma'am?" he offered, with a mock bow.

"Think you gonna have to," Elriel replied, using his arm to heave herself to her feet. "I haven't stood up in hours. Not sure if I can walk or not."

Leaning on each other, the pair stumblingly made their way to the port dorm.

"You know," Atton announced, on their arrival, "you have a lot of room in here. Quite a few spare beds. Mind if I take one of them tonight? I don't fancy sleeping on the other side, what with Canderous probably letting one rip every two minutes and Bao-Dur chucking his guts up everywhere."

Elriel giggled. "Yuk, that does sound bad," she said.

"So? Can I? You have all this room, after all."

"Sure," she said breezily, waving her arm at the bunk opposite hers.

"Talking of having lots of room," Atton chirped brightly, "You know what was missing at our party?"

"What?" Elriel queried, sitting heavily on her bunk.

"Dancing!" Atton pulled her back to her feet.

"Oh come on, flyboy," Elriel said scathingly, "don't try and tell me you like dancing."

The pilot put on a wounded face. "I'm a very good dancer actually," he protested. "Come on!"

Grabbing Elriel's hand, he spun her out and pulled her back. She stumbled dizzily into his waiting arms.

"Oof!" she grunted. "Are you trying to get us on the floor again or what?" Elriel grinned up at him but her smile faded when she met Atton's hungry, intense gaze. She weakly tried to pull back from him but the pilots's grip was firm and he tugged her closer still.

"Is that a blaster in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" she joked desperately.

"What size of blaster does it feel like?" Atton whispered fervently, his eyes burning into her. "A pistol or a heavy blaster?"

The tingling warmth sizzled up from Elriel's groin, shivering through every nerve ending in her body.

_Force, I can't stop this. I'm sorry Carth, I'm sorry. I love you, I love you. Please help me._

"A Mandalorian ripper," she breathed, immediately cursing herself for playing along.

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Atton murmered, gripping her still tighter. "Feel like making your dream come true?"

"Atton," she said, desperately searching for some small hold on her resolve. "There's Carth…and Rezi."

"Loved her the moment I saw her," the pilot confessed softly. "It seems lightning really does strike twice. Who knew."

"Atton, you can't - "

The pilot's lips pressing hotly onto her own cut off Elriel's protestations. She stiffened momentarily but her resolve had deserted, drowned in the ocean of physical yearning engulfing her. Relenting, she danced her tongue along his lips, moaning softly as his fingers caressed the back of her neck. Her surrender sent Atton almost insane with desire and he thrust her back against the wall, hitching her taut thigh up to his waist, pushing against her fiercely. Their kiss deepened, becoming frenetic, and Atton groaned, sliding his hand underneath the Jedi's tunic to stroke the gloriously soft warmth of her torso.

_This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, _Elriel's mind yammered. _Force almighty, this is so wrong, but I want him so much._

Atton's fingers slowly opening the buttons of her flimsy tunic brought Elriel back to herself with a jolt.

_Oh shit, we're actually going to do this. I can't, I can't!_

"Stop, please!" she gasped, pushing him weakly. "Atton."

He ignored her, moving his mouth down to plant soft kisses along her throat.

_Oh Force, the dream!_

"Atton, stop!" she yelled, using all her strength to shove him away from her. The pilot's expression mingled frustration, anger and hurt.

"What?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Elriel wailed, tears beginning to well in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Atton. I can't."

"But you wanted to," Atton stated softly.

She locked her wet eyes on his and knew there was no point in lying to him.

"Yes, I did," she admitted. "But we can't." Elriel pushed past him and kicked off her boots, before curling up tightly on her bunk, facing the wall. "You can still sleep here," she told Atton in a small voice, "if you want."

Atton pressed his palms to the wall and leant his head against it, exhaling loudly in frustration. "Sure," he replied sadly, "but I definitely have to visit the 'fresher first if I want any sleep."

When he returned to the dorm, Elriel was already sleeping deeply. He knelt on her bunk and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Damn bloody Jedi bloody women," he murmured, without malice, before flopping face down on the opposite bed.


	7. Chapter 7  There is the Force

Chapter 7 – There is the Force

Elriel awoke from a fitful night's sleep and found Atton standing over her with a hot mug of caffa.

"Thought you might need this," he said with a grin, handing it to her when she sat up.

"Thanks," she gazed into the mug's murky depths.

"Can I talk to you?" the pilot asked her, his grin vanishing.

_Damn! I really can't deal with this now. Why all of a sudden does __he__ want to do all this frickin' talking?_

Atton had seated himself presumptuously at the foot of her bed.

"Atton, look," Elriel began hastily, shifting herself away from him slightly, "I'm sorry about last night. It was my fault, mostly; telling you about that dream, letting you come back here when we were both so stupidly spaced. I should know better."

"I think it was inevitable, babe," Atton returned. He put a finger under Elriel's chin and gently tilted her head up to meet his soft gaze.

"No," she said firmly, brushing his hand away. "It's all gone too far now. Look, we've been stuck on this ship for a while and we're both maybe a little…um…frustrated. Bao-Dur said I'm very much like Rezi, so obviously you see something of her in me too. You're…well…a good-looking pilot who reminds me of Carth…sometimes. Things have gotten all mixed up. I love Carth and you love Rezi. We're just using each other as stand-ins and we have to stop it."

"You know," Atton said, staring sightlessly over Elriel's shoulder, "a few days ago I had myself convinced of that too. Not anymore."

Profoundly shocked, Elriel jerked her knees up towards her chin, the sudden movement causing her to spill hot caffa over her hand.

"Ouch!"

The pilot prised the mug from her tense fingers and put it on the floor by his feet. Turning back to Elriel he carefully took her hand and caressed the sore spot with his calloused thumb. The Jedi's heart staggered in her chest.

"You're trembling," Atton murmured.

"Stop it!" Elriel snatched her hand back forcibly. "Atton, I don't want to talk about any of this now. I've just woken up! Can you please give me some space?"

"By all means," he said genially, standing up and going to the door. In the doorway, he swiveled round to face Elriel again. "I'll be in the cockpit. Come and speak to me when you're ready. It's important."

* * *

"Canderous, how can you possibly do that?" Elriel demanded as she strode into the cargo hold to find the Mandalorian sitting with his feet on the table and a mug of ale in his hand.

"Quite easily," he grinned. "Hair of the Kath, as I said. I woke up this morning and felt like I had my head up a Bantha's ass. Now I'm fine. You should try it."

"You know," Elriel sighed, picking up an empty mug and filling it from the cask, "this morning my first thought was that I was never drinking ale again, but what the hell."

"Rough night?" Canderous asked with mock innocence as she sat down.

Elriel glared at him and opened her mouth to retort before seeing the futility of it. "Okay Mandalorian," she stated flatly, "here it is. Atton came back to my dorm, as you obviously know because he didn't sleep in yours. We got a bit drunkenly…carried away, but I stopped it before it went too far. There you go. Have as much fun as you want at my expense."

Canderous' grin faded. "You think that's all I've been doing?" he asked her sternly. "Because if you do then why are you here telling me about it?"

"No. Sorry," the Jedi replied contritely. "You seem to be the only person on board with any perspective, if I'm honest."

"Been hanging round Jedi chicks too long," he told her with a wry smile. "What's the problem this time? If you're worrying about Onasi, don't. He'd welcome you back with open arms even if you'd been round the entire crew…including the droids."

"It's not that," Elriel shook her head quickly. "It's what happened this morning. Atton…he's…I don't know…got himself convinced of something. He went all serious and wants to have some kind of big talk about it."

"Aaah," Canderous winked at her, understanding, "so you came in here to trade barbs with me to avoid this baring of souls."

Elriel gave him a half smile, wondering anew at his ability to cut right to the heart of things.

"Look," the Mandalorian said seriously, placing his mug on the table, "barbs aside, there are only two types of things I can tell you: things you already know and things you don't want to hear. So you're wasting your time with me. Go talk to Rand. How bad can it be?"

Feeling thoroughly abandoned, Elriel threw back her ale in one long swallow, stood and left the room.

* * *

At the sound of her soft footsteps, Atton swiveled the pilot's chair around.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey."

"Are you ready to talk?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be," Elriel sighed, flopping into the co-pilot's seat.

"Right," Atton said purposefully, straightening up, "now, I have a lot to say to you and I need you to listen to all of it, okay? No talking…uh, unless I ask you a question. Which I will. And when I do, you have to answer it honestly or there's no point. Agreed?"

"Agreed," she conceded.

"Complete honesty," the pilot insisted.

Elriel nodded in response.

Distractedly, Atton ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled loudly. "Okay, first question," he said. "Don't be all coy either, this isn't about your dream…not wholly, at least. As a Jedi, have you ever had a dream that meant absolutely nothing? Honestly."

Elriel paused. "No," she admitted, closing her eyes briefly.

Atton's lips pressed into a tight line and he gave a quick nod, satisfied. "Next question," he continued firmly. "When we all get back to Telos, what do you see happening? You and your man living in domestic bliss? Marriage? Babies? The life of an Admiral's wife? Me joining the Republic Star Fleet and hanging around like a third wing? Rezi coming back and all four of us having dinner together every week and nice, civilized fun like a bunch of Tarisian nobles?"

"Uh…I don't know," she stammered, bemused. "I guess I hadn't really thought that far ahead. I suppose it could be like that."

"No. It couldn't," Atton said fiercely, wrinkling his nose. "This isn't a fairytale, El. I would never be able to stick around. I'd be out of there the minute I dropped you off. Probably go back to planet hopping and bar hopping and getting in trouble. If Rezi tracked me down she'd likely find the Atton she met on Peragus."

Elriel frowned at him in confusion.

"What about you?" he asked, almost angrily. "Is that really the life you want? Being the Admiral's wife? Having a pile of babies and going to Republic galas every week? Could you do that?"

"I…" she began, struck by the mundane picture the pilot had sketched of her future life. "It wouldn't necessarily be like that."

"Yes it would," Atton sneered. "You'd be bored in six months."

Elriel opened her mouth to respond but found no words forthcoming.

"Another thing," Atton was on a roll. "Do you believe in destiny? I mean, all the things that have happened to you – do you believe the Force played a hand in them?"

"Yes," she said simply.

"One last question," the pilot said, gently now. "Do you know that you love me yet?"

Stunned, Elriel clawed her fingers into her ebony hair. "Atton, Force Almighty!" she cried. "How can you…I mean…what do I…when did this…"

"Perhaps not quite yet," Atton said with a soft smile, "but you will, I hope."

Elriel, her mind racing, so many thoughts and emotions fighting for dominance, was rendered speechless.

"No more questions now," Atton reassured the shell-shocked Jedi. "This is the part where I need you to stay quiet, okay? I asked you about the dreams because I had one about you last night. It wasn't as…um…personal as yours. We were standing together watching the sunset on some planet I didn't recognize. It definitely wasn't Telos. And when I say together, I mean we were together. Just us. I woke up early this morning and did a hell of a lot of thinking. Made my head hurt even more," he laughed humourlessly.

The Jedi unconsciously moved her hand up to her throat.

"So," he went on, "what with my dream and yours, I realized this was something we couldn't ignore. You want to hear my theory?"

Elriel remained silent, words still failing her.

"Well, even if you don't want to, I think you have to," Atton said decidedly. "Here goes." He took a deep breath. "Rezi saved me, that's beyond question. It took me a while to accept that the Force had a hand in almost everything that happened to us, but I did eventually. The Force sent her to me so I could find redemption, and perhaps help her find redemption also. You and Onasi did something similar for each other, yes? The Force got you together, maybe to give you a reason to stay on the light path, despite all the temptation…to give him a purpose to his life beyond revenge."

The Jedi nodded, slightly relieved by the direction the pilot's words had taken.

"But," Atton said, pointing a finger for emphasis, "it wasn't all happily ever after from then on, was it? You left Carth. Why?"

Elriel shook her head fervently. "I didn't leave him," she snapped. "I had to go to Drummond Kass. I told you why already."

"But why didn't you take him with you?" Atton pressed.

"It…it was my mess to clean up. I couldn't expose him to that kind of danger," Elriel replied testily.

"Hmm. Yet he'd more than proved his capabilities during your whole Star Forge adventure," the pilot mused.

"That's not the point!" the Jedi barked.

"Isn't it? I wonder."

Elriel began to protest, angrily.

"Stop," Atton held up a hand. "No interruptions, remember? I have to get this all out. Right, so you went off to do your thing and Rezi eventually came to find you. That old witch Kreia told her if she went after you then she couldn't take anyone she loved along with her either. But she did. Funny that, huh?"

"Atton, stop with the riddles!" Elriel seethed. "What exactly is your point?"

"If you'd stop interrupting, I'll tell you," Atton returned with a patient smile. "My point is this. The will of the Force, or whatever you want to call it, was for Rezi and Carth to save us, yes? To show us what the galaxy had to offer besides darkness and lies and battles. But it wasn't finished. You left Carth behind for reasons that made sense to you at the time. Just like Rezi initially took me with her, against that hag's advice, but then left me behind too. Why? What really does she have to do that would merit leaving me behind? She has her scars, sure, but she's hardly the former Dark Lord of the Sith, is she? What she did was follow orders, nothing more."

"My orders," Elriel said in a cracked whisper.

"It's not about that!" Atton huffed impatiently. "Don't you see? Everything has conspired to bring you and I together at this moment. You and I who have a darkness in our past that Rezi and Carth could never fully understand. Nor could they fathom what we've been through to overcome it. I know all of this seems ridiculously sudden but when I thought about it this morning, it all just clicked into place. The Force had Rezi and Carth save us for each other. We belong together. We understand each other more than they ever could. I'm more sure of this than I've ever been about anything."

"What are you saying?" Elriel managed, feeling dizzy and short of breath.

"I'm saying that I love you. I'm saying that we set a new course on the navicomputer."

"Carth? Rezi? Just abandon them?" Tears began to form at the corners of her wide eyes.

"Maybe the Force has plans for them to find each other too," Atton said gently.

"How very convenient," Elriel sneered, openly weeping now.

Atton got out of the pilot's chair and crossed to Elriel. He spun her seat round so she was facing him and gently brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry if I've caused you pain," he said with feeling, "but I had to tell you. You see that, don't you?"

The Jedi sniffed pathetically.

"I'll leave you now," Atton said, stepping back from the co-pilot's chair. "You have a lot of time to consider what I've said at least."

He turned away and stepped towards the cockpit door. Stopping there he looked back over his shoulder at the distraught Elriel.

"You had already left him," he said quietly, and went.

Elriel stared after him for half a second then curled her arms tightly around her legs, dropped her head to her knees and sobbed as though her heart were breaking in two.

****

Author's Note: Well, this story did start out all light-hearted so sorry that it's gone all serious now! This is where the writing ended up taking me and I guess life can be a bit like that anyway. Thanks to rockforthecross74 for your kind and helpful reviews. Please, everyone else, do leave me some reviews, even if it's to tell me who you would choose from Carth or Atton! What do you think? There's only one chapter left to write and all will be revealed! Review! Pretty please with sugar and sprinkles on top!


	8. Chapter 8 Epilogue

Chapter 8 – Epilogue

"Admiral Onasi, there's a Rezi Loreto here to see you," came the tinny voice from his desk comm. "She doesn't have an appointment."

"It's fine, Zeela. Send her in."

Carth had anticipated this reunion with dread for some months though strangely, now the hour had come, he felt an unexpected sense of relief. The door opened and the Exile marched in, almost slamming it behind her.

"Admiral Onasi," she greeted him sharply, striding towards his desk.

"Please, just Carth is fine, Rezi," the Admiral returned placatingly. "Have a seat."

"What's going on?" Rezi snapped, ignoring his offer. "Why aren't they here? When I left them they were setting a course for Telos. Have you sent them on another suicide mission or something? Has Revan dragged Atton off to find some more secret Sith? Dammit, Carth, where the hell are they?"

Carth waited quietly and sympathetically for the angry Exile to finish her outburst before reaching into his desk drawer to retrieve a battered datapad. He cradled it gently for a moment, renewed grief clouding over him, finally handing it to Rezi.

"That's all I know," he told her sadly. "Read it. It's not good news, Rezi…I'm sorry."

Stricken, her anger evaporating at once, Rezi fumbled open the datapad.

_My Dearest Carth,_

_You have been waiting for me for so long, my love, and having to write these lines causes me more sorrow than I could ever express. Before anything else, I have first to thank you. You saved me from myself…from Revan. You fell in love with me because, through loving you, I was inspired to become a woman you __could__ love. And I loved you always. I loved you, I think, even before I met you. I am so sorry I left. You understand why I had to go without you, I hope._

_I took care of things in the Unknown Regions and we were on our way back…I was coming home to you. We thought it was over. We were wrong. Bao-Dur and Canderous are, Force-willing, safe. Atton and I are not going to make it. I wish I could say we might, but it would give you, and indeed myself, false hope._

_Please tell Rezi that Atton loves her and echoes, to her, all that I thanked you for. Look after her, Carth. It is inevitable she will return to Telos when her own journey is complete and she will need a friend who understands her._

_There are so many things I wish I could say – as I suspect there are for Atton – but we desperately need you to get this message and the window of time for sending it runs short. We love you both. Forgive us. For everything._

_Elriel_

Dazed, Rezi limply dropped the datapad on Carth's desk. "They're gone?" she whispered, listlessly gazing at the pad where it had landed.

"Yes," Carth told her miserably, accepting the truth over again as he'd had to do, day after day, in the six months since the news had arrived.

Rezi crossed slowly to the office's large windows and gazed out across the cityscape. The sun was setting, shooting pinks and yellows boldly through the gauzy clouds. In the far distance, the landscape seemed almost insubstantial, melting into the shimmery sky, while the silhouetted buildings in the foreground stood out in sharp relief. The beauty of the scene shattered the Exile's stupor and she burst into heartbroken tears. Carth stood and went to her immediately, gathering Rezi into his arms and joining her tears with his own.

The two stood gripping each other tightly, grieving and comforting, as the fiery orb of the sun bled slowly into the horizon.

On another planet, two not dissimilar characters were doing much the same.

THE END

**Author's Note: Finished at last! What I'll do with my time now, I don't know. Start another one, perhaps! I hope you all enjoyed reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it. It may not be perfect, but it's my baby! Please do review and let me know your thoughts, however random they may be.**


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